Doom Cocoon

When I’m pulled in the direction of my doom
A cringed face
A tug on my gut
That feels at once so wrong and at once so right
Like I enjoy my own demise
Like the rush of a vanishing act gone right
I could show you all in a moment just who I really am, including the shadows

LOOK AT ME

SEE ME

I scream silent throbs in my head

and I swallow the pleasure whole
I don’t even taste it
Just want to drown underneath it
Like my favourite blanket
So that i can’t hear anything anymore
except the dull hum of this womb-ish cocoon

A respite from the responsibility of my own pain,

My shallow deep breath,

and a waking sleep for my soul

 

but it doesn’t want to be asleep.

 


Ben

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Image by Kristina Paukshtite

Autumn Rain

Wednesday evening in the autumn rain

The quiet echo’s through time. This evening I shared it with Edwardians; on these very streets.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The tap of footsteps on familiar ground

and strangers faces in familiar clothes making familiar sounds,

moving up the long avenue of paving stones towards some piece of mind.

I followed the quiet up the high street. Luminescent men made a circle around the film set – our sacred stories – and a woman played drunk and lonely, and the cameras were there, until they were out of sight. I stood outside and watched.

I heard the whispers again.

I took the backstreet to my right and walked my own path. The street guided me along its edges and enfolded me in it’s warmth as I took the road home. The streetlight winked at me and glowed a knowing look from the puddle. The rain splittered into it; with it, and danced in the crispness of the evening

The Abbey stood patiently watching over the city, and the tree’s nestled their sleep over the cobbles.

Pottering home, I took deep breath of cold air and remembered my love of this city.

 


-Ben

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Image by Emre Kuzu

 

 

no choice

The teeth that smile and let the floating carts glide
along with us on our tour
us flocks with no choice

The lights buzz words on the reader

“Welcome, Welcome
Here you are
Here is where you will be
Here is where you are going
Have a good day…”

The walls shuddered and their hair spindles erected.
We were glaring pairs of eyes on our way
to somewhere, nowhere, anywhere.


-Ben

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Image by Irina Iriser

gave in to the underside

You pinned me up on the walls of the library
with swords
My Kin
gave into the underside

His hooded ‘brothers’ caught me and blared up close
They forced me to play
and I did
I knew the words
I couldn’t leave without him

You pinned me up on the walls of the library
with swords
My Kin
gave into the underside

and let them run me through


-Ben

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Image by Sebastiaan Stam

The Fear

Standing atop your own head
In the dark night, over the piercing screeches of the wild-
the sounds that you don’t want to hear-
Biting your tongue and caressing the urge to wail

You’re riding your own death wave
Relaxing
Into the cold waters of the familial unknown

————————

You wake up fresh, in sharp life;
A Bear on the zero point: the mission

Moving through the forest of shadows with crisp breath
and open eyes

You have become the fear


Ben

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