Shadow (ii)

The night drags over me
Counting affirmations
For fuel

Dreary tones of solemn doubt creep into my ears, drumming my heart

I can see the monster in the mirror
And I needn’t look to see
It is you
It is I
We are the death and the majesty
The silky pain that rides across my skin
The red rhythm in my lungs
And the icy stare that makes it all go away

You give me life, and I give you sight
Together we dance, in breathe
and In stillness


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Desert Sands

Nothing behind the blue stains
of the months alone on that island
far from ships’ music

A pound of flesh for an ounce of bone
and a heart that breathes again

the wolves run free in the park again
explosive collars
leashed by themselves to a mothers word

An open stroll through the vacance reveals the emptiness of the promises
And yet the fullness of the wind and birds and the trees

Living inside an hourglass that turns for no-one and yet turns nonetheless

We are the desert sands that flow seamlessly to the peak of this horizon


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Vacant (eyes)

Nothing behind the eyes
The big blue
Elephant in the room

Your beauty sways like a plant in the gentle breeze
Your elegance and grace under the red light
Your gaze on me
And yet and I can’t feel love behind the eyes of the beholder

Your ginger locks are like a golden frame around your seduction
Your perfectly carved expression, made for this day, this evening

When did the grey descend in a cloud upon a room where so few weren’t dancing

You move for intimacy but that’s not what you’re looking for
You want something more

I want to give you that pleasure
An ecstasy away from noise
We’d bring the chaos with us where we would turn it into laughter and steam
And yet my heart turns in my chest
I stand and walk to my sleep

I live in a room full of people with no breath left to keep our hearts beating


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Image by Carry Jin

To you that I have hurt

On behalf of myself

I am writing to say

I’m sorry

For all of the pain

The heartache

The sleepless nights coiled up in fetal positions

I never thought I could

Hurt anyone like I have

And I did

But before I hurt you

Before I ever hurt anybody

Know that I hurt me first

That the means through which pI grew to love myself was through the gritted teeth and the sweat and tears

Lifting the bars that I put on my own shoulders

I tied my wrists to the metal clink of burning

Walking through the early hours on abandoned streets with only one thing on my mind “you can do better”

So I ripped through my own lungs, my own heartstrings, as punishment for what I didn’t become, and what I was born to be

And then I met you

So soft

So sweet

And I never meant to hurt you, ever

But I did

And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

Treat yourself well, and never let another hurt you like I did. Please.

Yours for eternity