Passing By’s

Lust and dark thoughts
Empty corridors,
Bodies full
With doped smiles
And fire underneath the plastic

Wreaking stimulants,
Transient pleasures fill my lungs and enter my brain
The delightful fuck it
Whispering in my ear
Putting it’s hand on my thigh

Need not reason but a craving to pass the time
My heavy feet drag along the concrete
The taste of a dry mouth and a flaming neck
Seem so easy to quench with a sip or a toque of what they call ‘the good stuff’

Oh I know the lies
The passing by’s
The closed ears and blood shot eyes
Open mouthed gawping at the fantastic
Explaining like lion with mane
But not with pride
Something less
Something surface and without jest
A crack in the shell of machismo merchants
Who lurk in the alleys
Stinking of times passed,
Wounds to be filled with sugar-sand and broken glass

Never have I ever known the meaning of pleasure
Nobody knows better
Than a man who’s come back from the edge
Tasted the elixir
And swallowed it.
Bliss, Love, Ecstasy,
Then the anaesthesia ran out.

Not desperate
Now only does he drip with the sweat of his brow
Pure passion
Fire by love and fury
The only hit is his own fist
Sometimes does he tire
Never does he miss

He took the holy grail
Almost turned
But got rid of it,
How?

When tempted
Full of contempt
In thoughts
Stepping back from the ledge
Still falling but seeing
I count myself lucky
For the sight that is my gift
Sold easy for a trip,
The empty form of it.

No more second guessing.
From dark
I know the light,
And that’s a
Blessing.

 


-Ben

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend checking out this post also.

Photographer: Mali Maeder

Anxiety

The rest is for the better
It’s said ‘sleep is for the weak’
Suppose that trying makes one tired
And makes one need his sleep
Suppose that giving in,
Letting go of ones control,
Could make one see the reason for it
And give him save from woe

Until ones tired of this way
Suffering one just gives in
And only then does it begin
Observation
For no win

I’d pay the extra currency just to access retrospect
To see it through, to separate, and know it in my bones
Except
The darkest moment seems so real
Tearing consciousness from me
Telling me of what I know
Disdaining the unknown
Till I was over thrown
Not shown
That impulse
Taken up in fear
Can be worse than a hundred tears

It made me lose my way
One may be right to say
That is ‘Maybe it’s just a different way’
But heartfelt degradation
Despite of hesitation
Made me know that I had torn myself
From realisation
For visualisation
When desire replaced
My destiny

So I watched and payed a price
A sum I won’t pay twice
Or maybe that I will
At least I know it comes of will,
The shining serpent of my mind
That convinces one to kill
Yet
No need that I have found
No sensation or thill
Has ever taught me love of life
To follow feeling
Not the bill.
For mistakes have taught me well
Virtue, Sin, and Self
Have now to access
Heaven and Hell
Just a shadow on a shining surface
Separate from self.

I try not to talk it knowingly
As if I knew a thing
For truth is that I don’t
And it’s not me that writes these things

 


-Ben

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend checking out this post also.

Photographer: Kat Jayne