Taking Charge of How You Feel.

When you feel something strongly, are you the type of person who meet it with head on with their chest up and their eyes wide open, or do you dwell? Can you stand confrontation? Really the question is: Can you stand your ground?!

Don’t let ANYONE rip you out of your state of positivity. In your heart you know your purpose in life. You know that you control the way that you feel. If one day you chose to feel sad and depressed, and you chose not to do anything about it, then that’s fine, but that is a CHOICE.

You cannot share your gifts with others if you are not in charge of your own state. They are influencing you, not the other way around. The surest man* in the room is the most influential, and by being in charge of how you feel, and being dead set on your purpose, you are being the most sure man in the room, and NOBODY can take that away from you. They may think they can, but then that is down to you… do you believe them?

To take control of your state, you need to brainwash yourself. By brainwashing yourself you can manifest your own reality. This takes a clear vision, a clear sense of purpose, and an open mind that is ready to feel uncomfortable and meet life head on.

To control your state, you need to know what works for you. What makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad? You need tools. These tools are inside of you. They are mental, physical and physiological. These tools are utilised in order to promote states of flow, and rectify blockages. You need to know when it is necessary to use a tool, and how to stay in the moment with whatever you are doing.

In order for any progression in life to be effective, first and foremost one needs to learn how to take control of their focus. This is the first step towards self ownership.

Once you have taken ownership your focus, now you decide what to focus on. And what you focus on needs to be brought into manifestation through the body (This is why it is very important to be physically and emotional motile). Most people have energetic barriers in their body that disallow them from expressing themselves to their full capacity. This stops them from being able to manifest their inner life as a reality.

In order to break free of this physical bondage, I would refer you to this resource as a starting point. However, the body is the mind and the mind is the body, and if you can get them operating on the same level emotionally, then you will find that you are able to encourage postural and physical change purely through physiological means. Environmental factors encourage this, but in effect you are the one that is making the change.

All of this starts in one place: What you focus on DRAMATICALLY effects how you feel.

Here are some resources that I have written in order for you to channel your focus in the most empowering ways:

Incantations:

Finding Purpose

Reading

Sexual dynamics/Relationships


-Ben

If you liked this post and want more, buy me a coffee! Always appreciated. Here’s another post you might like.

*or woman

Why you should READ.

I once read a statistic that said this: “If one were to read 1 book on their chosen subject for a month, in 3 years they would be in the top 5% most knowledgable in their field”

WHAT?! You’re telling me that all I have to do is read a book a month?

With a book one disappears  into a world of their creation, all the while learning and being taught anything that they could possibly want to know. The possibilities are literally limitless. Books are the door into your very own intricately detailed brain cinema… that can also teach you things!

So why do so few people actually do it?!

Most people will say “Yeah… I should read but I just don’t have time”

“Or yeah I should, and I do really like it, I don’t know, I just don’t really do it.”

Often when I hear this, the person I’m talking to sat on their phone, or we are down at the pub, or they are watching tv… often not even good tv.

There is a reason for this.

One reason is that there are so many alternatives to reading that are so much more sensorially stimulating. One can sit in front of a TV for hours and just be spoon fed entertainment without having to lift a greasy finger.

Another reason is consistency.

Reading is a participatory. One has to sit down and use their brain muscles. Reading is a practice. And a practice has to be practiced… Mind blown right?

Most people are out of this habit, and so when they do read, they find it difficult or a chore. Surely this should be unsurprising; any level of ability and fitness has to be built and maintained… but often it’s not. And often it’s a discouraging enough experience that people give up after a session. It’s like the new years gym rush in reading form.

Like any other muscle in the body, if you don’t use it then it simply shrinks. We’ve got to train our reading muscles! And it’s a speedy spring-back for sure.

My estimate based on my own experience of reading relapse is that it takes me one and a half weeks to two weeks of being in the habit of picking up a book and reading it daily for it to become simply effortless. To the point where it is as easy to read a book as watch a film except, like eating a salad instead of the chips, reading the book feels healthy and stimulating in regards to my growth, not my complacency.

The trick is to know WHY you are reading, and to be able to discern the feeling of growth from the feeling of deterioration…

So… Why are you reading? Do you want to be the best musician in your field? How many musicians do you recon pick up books in their free time to read about theory applications and jazz history…  Is it for leisure? Great! Just know that… And when you decide to begin reading because you want to learn how to be a great leader, or manage a workforce, or build a motorbike, keep your eyes on the reason and feel it coming closer into your sphere of reach.

Another factor to consider. Rising to the challenge. Do you have a HIGHER purpose in mind that you are working towards everyday?

When you have a higher purpose, reading, exercising, working, and doing anything in alignment with it that purpose comes effortlessly. When what you are doing is in alignment with your purpose, you are excited and fulfilled in dance and movement your own progression, and reading is a vehicle for that momentum. (If you’re having trouble finding your higher purpose, here is a resource for you that I wrote.)

Reading raises your consciousness up. It is part of the vital interplay between the inner and outer consciousness. Both the inner and outer game are on their own path towards growth, and in turn each feeds its counterpart.

If you are interested in growing in any capacity, reading is not only your friend, but your mentor and closest ally.

Books don’t don’t discriminate, they just give. Be a book.


My advice is to think of reading (like meditation) as a practice that is a guiding light: A grounding force: A sturdy hand pointing the way for intuition on your Hero’s Journey.

If you’re still not bought on the idea of reading, consider some of the greatest teachers and leaders ever to have lived: You can have lunch with Gandhi, and Tea with Malcom X, dinner with Steven Hawking, and drinks with Arnold Schwarzenegger… Lives and lives worth of tips, tricks, lessons, and mistakes, compiled into a book that can be held in the palm of your hand and enjoyed at your leisure.

If you are not sure where to start on your reading journey, here’s where I started, and it is a great place to start for anyone: ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’

This is about outer game. This is about becoming the most educated version of yourself in order that you can bring yourself and others up. To educate is to elevate. True education is self guided, and it’s there for the taking. Elevate yourself, and bring others with you. Share your gifts. Take your power.

Reading, unlike most modern media, is not just entertainment. Reading is a practice. It will reveal things to you about yourself, and take you to places on your own journey of personal development that you never thought possible.

Who knows… maybe one day you will end up writing your own book. May it be filled with tellings of wonder and success.

Take it from Abraham Lincoln:

“My Best Friend is a person who will give me a book I have not read.”


-Ben

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend checking out this post also…

Also if you are still not bought on the idea of reading: here’s an interesting article that might aid your decision,

Be a Madman for Your Purpose.

All of us should give our gifts in this lifetime. This is it; are you seizing the moment? Do you have FIRE in your belly? Are you passionate about your life and your purpose?

What is your meaning?

We are all here to be challenged… can you grow in the face of adversity? This is the game.

Most people don’t live in alignment, and don’t give their utmost gifts because they are scared. Fear ties them down. And on your inspired journey, you will feel fear. To deny yourself of fear is to deny yourself of your purpose.

If you are to give your gifts, then you must feel your fear and do it anyway. You must meet your fears with equal energy and kiss them, look them in the eye, punch them in the face if need be! Then you continue onwards towards your purpose, fulfilling your meaning…

This is to ‘Eat your Shadows’. Through eating your shadows, you become twice the Man or Woman that you once were. And it was already inside of you.

You’ve gotta feel it baby. Enjoy the challenge. When you know why, it becomes a play, and I am challenging you now. If you do not know what it is, then Find your purpose.

Find it inside of YOU.

You do not need a purpose that is going to be your be all and end all purpose, but you need a purpose for now. If you know something that makes you passionate, but it doesn’t seem to be right when you think about it. Look: THAT is your purpose now. Your purpose may change over time. To quote Shrek “purposes are like onions, they have layers.”  The thing that excites you, that fills you with energy; you must give 100% to this. The rest will unravel and reveal itself to you over time throughout this process, layer by layer and each one will be more fulfilling, and fill you more and more with purpose.


People of integrity live in alignment with their life’s purpose.

If you are to be fulfilled in your purpose. You must live in alignment with your purpose. Otherwise you are sacrificing your integrity.

If you are to live in alignment with your life’s purpose, you must be constantly asking yourself: “Is what I am doing now contributing to me giving my gifts in this world? Is it contributing to the fulfilment of my life’s purpose?”.

If you cannot answer these questions with a clear “yes” then you are probably sacrificing your some of your integrity, because it is probably not in alignment with your purpose.

Those of us who are giving our gifts know that in the giving of your gifts, every single moment is the feeling of the fulfilment in life, in and of itself. These are the same people who forget to eat because they are so absorbed with there purpose, it becomes them, they become fuelled with the desire to make change, to make their mark, to penetrate the world with their legacy.

You know someone in your life who is doing something that you used to do. You might have even just seen them in the street as you were passing by, or they might be a close family member or a lover. They are doing something that you did that was to your detriment. And you see their pain under the surface, under the mask of rock or porcelain smiles.

You want to tell them and show them that this isn’t the way. You feel sorry for them, but you know that you can’t tell them to change. You can’t tell them to do things differently, because you know where they are coming from. You want to help but you feel like you can’t. This is what you can do:

BE the change. Be an example of a better way. Be a madman for your purpose. Show them that they are not alone; because we are all mad for that which is closest to our heart. Show people that they can be the person that they truly want to be, and that really, they truly are this person; if only they say yes to life and all it’s pain and pleasures.

If you don’t do it for you, do it for them.

And just remember, that same pain that caused you so much grief, it made you the person that you are today. It is the pleasure in your heart when you see something beautiful. It is the love in your smile, it is the joy and excitement in your stomach.

Live in alignment with your purpose. Give your gift…

Ponder this:

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

-Ben

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend you check out this post also. 

Last Ralph Waldo Emerson quote for a while… I promise… *wink*

The Relationship Polarity. Understanding Sexual Dynamics.

This post is for anyone interested in sexual dynamics, and especially for anyone that is struggling or frustrated in a relationship.

Note that during this post I speak in the terms ‘Guy’ and ‘Girl’ to represent the poles of the Masculine and Feminine energies, regardless of gender.


We live in a world in which we feel that we largely have control over our lives and our selves. This is an age of empowerment, and in such a world we want to change the world and make our mark. This is healthy; this is a fantastic thing; it is exciting stuff. HOWEVER… As with any positive, there comes a negative, and this quality is no exception. Our want to change people and the way they think can work to our detriment.

For most people, this manifests itself in relationships.

A guy and a girl meet. From the moment that they see each-other, immediately there is a spark of attraction. A ripple of pleasure shoots through each of their bodies upon making eye contact. The two share themselves with each other, and the two become close. Yet still, all is very mysterious, the possibilities are as an endless horizon. Eventually they become intimate and spend the night together. This process could happen in an hour or a month or more or less. They continue to share each others intimacies, and they become a couple, or they teeter off.

They stay together for a while, and despite their differences, they continue to share their intimacies and be generally fulfilled… Only after a while, the other starts to get on their nerves.

“She so unreasonable! She’s just so over-emotional.”

“He’s so driven, I wish he would put our relationship first, it should be his main priority.”

This is a generalisation, however I’m sure you’ve felt something along these lines in regards to someone. (regardless of gender)

I would like to introduce you to an idea.

This idea is that of the masculine and feminine energies. It is based on the Chinese philosophy of the Yin and Yang aspects of being, constantly moving, balancing each-other out in the dance of existence.

Hot and Cold, Day and Night, Up and Down, Left and Right. Polar opposites working together in harmony to form a complementary whole.

The Masculine and the Feminine Polarities:

The Masculine Essence: The masculine essence is attracted to the feminine essence.

Qualities of Masculine Essence, Examples:

  • Rational, methodical.
  • Fights for freedom/release.
  • What is said and done is based on facts and ideas/words.
  • Grows by challenge.
  • Penetrates way through life.
  • Main Priority is Higher Purpose of life.
  • Prefers to be in control.
  • Guns, Fighting, Sports

The Feminine Essence: The feminine essence is attracted to the masculine essence.

Qualities of Feminine Essence, Examples:

  • Emotional.
  • to be filled.
  • What is said and done is based on feelings in the moment.
  • Grows by praise.
  • Feels way through life.
  • Main Priority is Relationship.
  • Prefers to let loose.
  • Music, Nature, Dancing

Now, let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR: Everyone has both masculine and feminine elements. One might even be neutral/both/none.

The important point that I am making is that one is attracted sexually one’s opposite. Meaning if you are in a relationship with someone you are sexually-attracted to, then the things that make you different are what KEEPS you both polarised/sexually-attracted to one another. Meaning that you are not going to understand each other completely. You are not going to be the same. The things that make you different are often the things that you fear about another individual, but they are also the same things that attract you sexually to the very same individual.

Keep this in mind firmly when you feel like changing your partner. You might be depolarising your relationship; you might ‘rub off’ on each other as it were. Ask yourself do you really want her to be more like you? (and vice versa) You won’t have anything beautiful to see in your partner is they are just you, you might as well look in the mirror.

Let this digest a little. Have a think about it, or even better, let it sink in and feel as to whether you can relate to any of the above. Do you control your partner because of fear?


A big point to note is that according to the laws of Yin and Yang, these two polar opposites will always balance eachother out. This is so with relationships. If you are neutral, your partner will likely eventually become neutral. If you are the more masculine, your partner will balance you by becoming more feminine. And the more polarised the couple are, the more of a magnetic pull there will be. The partner with the more feminine essence will compensate by becoming more masculine, when the masculine is not meeting the feminine at her level and vice versa.

This is a serious revelation to be aware of.

Do use this blog post as a tool to possibly identify where you stand in regards to your core essence, and where you stand in regards to the polarity of your relationship…

OR much much better, read one of David Deida’s books... If this post has challenged you, or sparked feelings inside of you, then I would encourage that you do so. You will be challenged. You will find gifts: Read one.

This idea was taken and inspired directly from the book: ‘The Way of the Superior Man’. Here is an Amazon link

I have no affiliation with David or any of his books or his publishers, I have merely been struck by the value of this concept as a revelation for myself. I hope you will be served by these insights also.

Let me finish with a great quote by the Taoist Sage, Lao Tzu:

“He who knows others is clever; He who knows himself has discernment.”


-Ben

If you were sparked this post, then I would recommend that you check out this post also.

How do you feel about this post. Do you have any further resources or ideas that you’d like to share with people? I’d love to know your thoughts! Comment down below.