“I don’t know what to do…” What you should do:

How to do more than one thing and continue to make progress.

Most people want to focus on the one thing, only there isn’t one thing, and they are torn between two or more things, but they have to make a decision.

What is this one thing?

It would be useful to understand that what we focus on massively effects our actions, and the outcomes of those actions.

In my experience, there is one thing. It’s just not what you think it is. The one thing is the reason behind the art… the why. Why do you really make music? Is it the music you love, or the way it makes you feel when you touch people deeply?
Do you love health and fitness really, is that why you do it? Or is it that you feel the deep drive to empower people, and fitness is one of the ways of you doing that?

THE WHY. It is the deeper meaning from which all of the rest springs. Don’t mistake the forest for the trees.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
‘- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation.
‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.” – Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)


-Ben

If you liked this post then I’d recommend checking out this post also.

How People Reinforce their Own Fears.

So many people start there sentences with, “It’s hard”. My response is often a kind of sigh/hands on face gesture.

The thing is, I often catching myself saying this. And I really have to just give myself little slap and say, ‘Stop being a little whiny wet flannel’.

Mate… Life is hard. Things are hard. If they weren’t everyone would be doing them.

The key to overcoming adversity and breaking through the ‘it’s hard’ barrier is to take the challenge, stand up, and flipping do it.

The mantras of ‘it’s hard’, and ‘I don’t know’; mental self chatter to this degree reinforce and affirm your fears. They take you further away from your goal.

Support yourself! Why wouldn’t someone turn his own self chatter into a supportive mechanism?! …Because you can! It’s just a matter of conditioning you to empower yourself. Check out my post on incantations if you want to take your fear and turn it into a strength.

As a man that I admired once told me, when I was mucking about and procrastinating out of fear:

“Why not? you’ve got nothing to lose mate…”


-Ben

If you liked this post, check out this post as well. Peace.

The Depth of Your Primary Focus is Equal to Your Depth of Presence.

Some people just seem to be good at everything. They just put their hand to something, and they just, seemingly by osmosis, excel and assimilate their way into the higher echelons of their chosen field. They seem to give off a certain aura.

Other people are the opposite. Whatever they do, it’s not quite the same. They can never quite reach that level of detail, that level of skill, that level of charisma that the other guy does without even trying.

The truth is, you can tell where people’s minds are just by looking at them. The depth of a persons presence is equal to the depth of his primary focus.


To tell whether somebody has great depths to them, whether they have their eye on a purpose larger than themselves, only takes a glance. You can tell whether they are shakeable, or whether they are unflappable in their commitment and dedication to their task. You can tell whether it would take merely a few words to distract or break the person. For someone that has great depths to them radiates the energy of a higher purpose, they radiate trustability and focus.

Most people fall into the second category. They struggle just to ‘do’ things in the same way that the naturals do.. They do not breeze through the days all the while exuding charisma. Their eyes are not on the prize. They are too easy to shake off of their path. They do not exude the confidence of a man/woman that knows where he stands. Their eyes are on the next activity, the next fix.

Most men spend their day thinking about sex. Obviously there is nothing wrong with this, however consider: The steady gaze of a man who has spent all day focusing is life around sex, versus a man who has spent his day focusing on organising his life around the fulfilment of his highest purpose…

For the man who has his eyes on his highest purpose all of these other things in life are trivialities. Trivialities that yes, he can still enjoy, but they do not amount to much meaning for him. They are little side games. And so his body dances with his mind, and he easily converses with women, and he easily dribbles the ball into the goal. And if he doesn’t he isn’t really flapped, he just picks himself up and carries on, it’s just a game.

If you want to be a person of integrity. Someone that exudes depth and the wisdom of knowing your own death. Then you must right NOW find your deepest purpose, for THIS MOMENT. It doesn’t start later, tomorrow, whatever, you’ve got excuses, you could be in a wheel chair; if you have a now, you have a purpose in that now: this is what you are looking for.

The now is in constant flux, and you purpose changes with it. In order to exude presence and integrity, one has to go deeper. One has to go beyond the layers of superficiality of social status and opinion, and go inward into that which makes him tick; his purpose. If he can find this, if he can create a vision for himself based on his purpose, and if he can train himself to constantly be giving his fullest give in THAT MOMENT, then he will be unshakeable, because superficialities will be unable to rock him off of his path, it is deeper than can be touched and shaken, and his integrity will not allow it to be, because he is fixed in time with his presence, and like time itself, it cannot be touched, whatever you may do the objects of time.


So… Right now. Ask yourself… What is your purpose? Are you fearful?

If you were to die now, would you die in the fullest giving of your gift, or would you die with yet things that you would have done if you had known? Would you die for your purpose?

“The biggest tragedy is not that we aim high and don’t achieve it, it’s if we aim low and do.” -David Deida


-Ben

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend checking out this post also.

Why YOU Should Meditate.

Walking down the road today from the train station to a cafe down the road. I counted about 40-50 thoughts roughly. That was a 10 minute journey.

The majority of people have the same problem. To focus on one thing is almost impossible, because their processing power is all over the place, they are trying to download 50 files at once on 4G.

In fact most people think even more than this! It’s a scientific fact that humans can only think consciously about one thing at a time. Try it: Think about an image of empire state building and the shape of England at the same time….

A quick google search shows that: “…When we have between 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day, this means between 35 and 48 thoughts per minute per person.”

Well NO WONDER we can’t get anything done!

When’s the last time you just sat in silence for 10 minutes and watched your thoughts?

My Martial Arts teacher likened the flow of thoughts to a train station. The station is the mind, the train is the thought, and the little person standing on the platform is the awareness. Most people’s stations are flipping Waterloo at rush-hour.

Meditation is the practice of observing the trains come and go as they will, completely out of your control. They they come and go, come and go, come and go, until eventually the flow of trains begins to slow down. Instead of a constant flow of trains rushing by urgently, there seems to be silence in between the passings by, and there is simply emptiness until another slowly potters through. Able to fully feel the breeze on your face and the smell of fresh leaves on the wind, this train comes past, and you watch it… then it passes, and again all is quiet.

Most people know that meditation is good for them. However thoughts are terrified at the idea of not being in control. Thoughts will come and say “To sit in silence?! A waste of time! Stupid!” And so we are enslaved by our thoughts, the master becomes mastered by his tools.

The big barrier that stops people from actually practicing is the trust in the silence…

In order for more people to cultivate trust in the consistent practice meditation, it would be helpful to understand the place from which all of our thoughts come. Because you don’t chose your thoughts… your thought come to you. Where from?

The stillness. This stillness is a gift to you. From stillness one can see clearly, and from from emptiness one can discern.

Meditation is about cultivating your stillness. It is about nourishing your awareness through the practice of prolonged attention to your stillness. By cultivating your awareness in the stillness, you are more able to see clearly that which is not still, increasing your presence, and fundamentally increasing your sensitivity and thus your vitality.

When one meditates, it is not that nothing is going on, it is that SO much is going on, in the doing of nothing. Doing in no-doing, by no-doing; Doing the no-doing.

One must give the silence it’s due, listen to it’s voice, if one is to reap the gifts of discernment. To listen to both yin and yang, the whole world becomes larger.

Turn the blur into a piece of artwork, and see and touch every little piece of it as you runs your awareness over it.

Good place to start in regards to meditation:

  1. Sit quietly, ideally somewhere quite (it doesn’t matter, but does allow for further unguardedness) and where you will not be disturbed.

2. As you allow the breath to pass through you – no pulling in of air but simply allowing it to fill and empty itself through you – pay attention to your nose. Simply place your awareness on it and watch it.

3. Your attention will likely stray to thoughts, and that is fine, no matter, just again place your attention on your nose. That was a repetition.

4. Continue to bring your attention into focus from the straying into thoughts and distractions. When you feel proficient at focusing on your nose, now you may bring your awareness to rest on your entire face. Not trying to control anything, simply resting your awareness on it, relaxing, and allowing whatever comes to come and go. Watch thoughts and feelings as they come and go. If a particularly potent one comes along that feels urgent, simply take a mental note for later and continue the practice, watch it pass.

5. Again, when you feel proficient, bring your awareness to rest on a larger entity, your entire body. Again, noticing thoughts and feelings as they come and go, bringing your awareness back when it strays, being relaxed and impartial… simply watching.

Now those are the principles.

These principles can be applied as you will. You can do this while walking, or washing dishes, anything, just remember it is about relaxation, impartial watching, and cultivating awareness through guiding your focus back to stillness.

When you feel confident at meditating in this way, try bringing your awareness back into itself. Who is watching the thoughts and feelings? Watch the watcher. See what you find.

“We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.” -Chuang Tzu


-Ben

If you liked this post, then here is another post that you might like.

How to Help those around you that Suffer with Depression or Mental Illness.

This is a post for people who are dealing with a friend or loved one who is struggling with their mental health. This is what I wish those around me had known in my darkest periods.*

Send them unrelenting, unceasing, unending love. Penetrate through their state with gifts of your love and humour, and show them the light. Inflate them with your state and guide them with practical advice on the next steps. ‘This is what you’re going to do. And I’m going to do it with you.’

You need to be their ground. While they are bouncing off the walls, being irrational, going ups and down in their mood, you are so fixated on your mission, that you cannot be flapped, you cannot be moved off course. Because your mission is to uplift yourself, and them with you.

HOWEVER, this does not mean that you are responsible for their mood. There should be no martyrdom involved here. You CANNOT take responsibility for their mood and current state. It is NOT your fault. And it in would be selfish and unhelpful to assume so.

What you are is a shining light, and that is what you must be and nourish within yourself. You must focus on your growth, and the maintenance of your light. Which means putting yourself FIRST.

You cannot help anyone if your light goes out.

You are going to bring people up. You’re not going to let anyone bring you down. Whoever is most sure person in the room will be the most influential. This is why you need to be fixated on your goal of uplifting yourself and others with you, and you must live in alignment with this.

Know that everything is unfolding perfectly, as it should. Everything happens because it needs to.

“…I am the master of my fate,

      I am the captain of my soul…” – William Ernest Henley

-Ben

If you found this helpful, then here’s another post that might be of value to you.

*This article is not meant as an alternative to professional care and advice. It is meant to be complementary.

Taking Charge of How You Feel.

When you feel something strongly, are you the type of person who meet it with head on with their chest up and their eyes wide open, or do you dwell? Can you stand confrontation? Really the question is: Can you stand your ground?!

Don’t let ANYONE rip you out of your state of positivity. In your heart you know your purpose in life. You know that you control the way that you feel. If one day you chose to feel sad and depressed, and you chose not to do anything about it, then that’s fine, but that is a CHOICE.

You cannot share your gifts with others if you are not in charge of your own state. They are influencing you, not the other way around. The surest man* in the room is the most influential, and by being in charge of how you feel, and being dead set on your purpose, you are being the most sure man in the room, and NOBODY can take that away from you. They may think they can, but then that is down to you… do you believe them?

To take control of your state, you need to brainwash yourself. By brainwashing yourself you can manifest your own reality. This takes a clear vision, a clear sense of purpose, and an open mind that is ready to feel uncomfortable and meet life head on.

To control your state, you need to know what works for you. What makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad? You need tools. These tools are inside of you. They are mental, physical and physiological. These tools are utilised in order to promote states of flow, and rectify blockages. You need to know when it is necessary to use a tool, and how to stay in the moment with whatever you are doing.

In order for any progression in life to be effective, first and foremost one needs to learn how to take control of their focus. This is the first step towards self ownership.

Once you have taken ownership your focus, now you decide what to focus on. And what you focus on needs to be brought into manifestation through the body (This is why it is very important to be physically and emotional motile). Most people have energetic barriers in their body that disallow them from expressing themselves to their full capacity. This stops them from being able to manifest their inner life as a reality.

In order to break free of this physical bondage, I would refer you to this resource as a starting point. However, the body is the mind and the mind is the body, and if you can get them operating on the same level emotionally, then you will find that you are able to encourage postural and physical change purely through physiological means. Environmental factors encourage this, but in effect you are the one that is making the change.

All of this starts in one place: What you focus on DRAMATICALLY effects how you feel.

Here are some resources that I have written in order for you to channel your focus in the most empowering ways:

Incantations:

Finding Purpose

Reading

Sexual dynamics/Relationships


-Ben

If you liked this post and want more, buy me a coffee! Always appreciated. Here’s another post you might like.

*or woman