How to get out of a Rut!

We all want to be our best selves, we all want to live our best lives.

Yet so few of us actually do so! Bucket loads of potential is wasted every day by plethoras of people thinking about what could have been done, or why it cannot be done now; Most people do this. That is why most people are NOT their best selves.

I say this only as someone who has partaken in negative thinking incessantly for the vast majority of my life. SO much energy wasted on creating negative patterns of thinking which led to negative actions and behaviour, which led to me feeling… you guessed it, like a pile of s***.

I call this pattern a rut. You’ve heard the saying. ‘Being stuck in a rut‘. Never did I think about what this really means.

Litterally: A rut is a vehicle track created by repeating the same path over and over and over, so much so that it becomes the only easy path to it’s end once a vehicle is in it.

To get out of a rut, one has to get out of the vehicle that they are travelling in, take a good look around, decide he’s had enough, and climb the hell out of there. To get out of a rut, one needs to remove HIMSELF from the rut, and take a NEW path. This involves leaving the well trodden trail behind. This involves going your own way: putting YOUR purpose FIRST.

Be your own vehicle for change.

Now if you feel like you are stuck in a rut, which most of us are to some degree. Here is what I would offer you:


STOP what you are doing now. I want you to look at the thoughts that come up for yourself. Are they positive, are they negative? Are they conducive to LOVE and CREATION? and most importantly, DO THEY SUPPORT YOU?

If your thoughts are not supporting you, then I reccomend checking out


YOU first. If you want to grow, you must prioritise your purpose on this earth before all else. And once you begin to say yes to this, your purpose will come to you, oh yes it will, and you will float up the fruits of the tree of life and receive the blessings from your toil.

But this ain’t going to be easy, this is why anyone rarely does it. They stay in the rut, and moan about being in a rut to themselves. I’ve done it too. A lot.

To face your fears is to ‘kiss your shadows’ and become intimate with that which causes you pain. This is a part of life… and to live fully is oh so full of life.

For those of you in a rut. Who do you need to be in order to share your gift with the world? Who do you need to be in order to fulfil your true purpose in life? Only you can know. One can only ask for guidance in return for the expression of your gifts.

To finish, following my former post, another quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

‘To be great is to be misunderstood.’

Be great. Be true. Be you.

P.S. If you have any interesting resources that you’d like to share, send them over! I’m always looking for new insight and inspiration.

Your friend,

Ben


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Photography by James Frid

Incantations have warped my understanding of reality.

Incantations are a bullsh*t I always thought… well not quite.

I had experimented with Incantations in the past, and not to much avail. There was always a moment of catharsis, and what I thought was false confidence, at the time. I did persist with them for a week or three, but I didn’t really believe in what I was doing and as such came to yield no fruits from my labours.

Above all, the trouble with Incantations is if you do not EMBODY them, then they are merely words. When they are merely words, they are merely affirmations. A squeally yoga mum telling herself that she is a strong indendent woman, but not necessarily actually EMBODYING this statement. This is largely where I went wrong. And this is most people go wrong. We all know that words can take on a different meaning hourly depending on our feelings that day. It is not the words, it is what the words are pointing to, and the experience that they are rooting to. I like a quote by the philosopher Alan Watts. ‘…Like the finger pointing to the moon, yet instead of seeing the moon, most people suck on the finger.’

Incantations are not just words. Incantations are the complete package. To yield results, one needs to anchor these words in experience.

While reading Elliot Hulse’s ‘Non Jobs Revolution’ (a fantastic read which I highly recommend), I came across his version of Incantations. For me, this is the most effective way to go about Incantations, and I can speak from experience when I say, it works!


Here’s how it works:

1.  Firstly going back in your mind to an experience that made you feel like you were walking on air, elated, powerful. Whatever is in line with the state that the Incantation is pointing towards. Now you play the video of the experience over in your head, being there, hearing the sounds, seeing the sights, tasting the air.

2.  Feelings are going to come up at this point. Feel them. You might smile or laugh, be there now. Don’t cling to them, but let them arise within you like a volcano. You’ve got FIRE in your belly baby…

3.  Now you must speak your affirmation with conviction. One Incantation that I have chosen, and that has made a MASSIVE psychological difference to me is ‘I am Limitless‘. Say it as if you flipping mean it… and do flipping MEAN IT.

4.  Now anchor these emotions into your body with a gesture. I like fist pump my arms in front of me as if I am about to get into a championship ring get it done.

Now you have affirmed yourself.

You can use multiple affirmations. Any time that you are feeling unsure of yourself. AFFIRM yourself. Stand firmly in your own ground and be the person that you want to become.

This technique is completely parallel with my own experience with an acting Method that i used to train in called ‘The Meisner Technique’. It is a method acting tool that allows you to get into the emotional state of the character that you are going to become for the performance. It worked brilliantly.

Life is a also performance… You can be the leading man/woman, or you can be the understudy.

Note:

Using affirmations is a practice. for real: bold, italic, AND underlined.

In order to yield results you must practice them consistently. It is going to feel strange at first and this is normal. One doesn’t build a beach body from a ‘dad bod’ (hate that term) over night, and you’re not going to become someone completely new overnight either.

Take this technique and any time that you catch yourself falling into a pattern of negative thinking, eg: “I don’t know” “I can’t do it” “I literally have no friends”, affirm yourself. Give your negative thinking a metaphorical kick in the ass, meet it with your chest up and head-butt it in the face by replacing it with thinking patterns that will support your growth, support your change into a new person, and support YOU.

Incantations are yielding results for me that I never thought possible. They have changed the way that I look at myself. I have come to realise through affirmations that I manifest my own reality. I create my thoughts, and my thoughts create me.

I hope this technique can help some of you on your own paths.

There is a great quote by the Taoist sage Lao Tzu:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words

Watch your words, they become actions

Watch your actions, they become habits

Watch your habits, they become character

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”


-Ben

P.S: If you’ve got any thoughts on this post, drop me a line! I’d love to hear from you.

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The Fray

Days and hours,
A week,
Maybe a month
I lurk in the shadows.

Look
Find facilitation,
Take feeling,
Still it never has enough of the good stuff.
Drinking beginning fluids
Still never quenching
The depths in my bones
Only a brown fog of
Something
Somewhere…

Greed…
I see greed
Pouring out of me
Through need
And want to feed
On power
On feeling
On what?
You’ve got high’s and lows inside of you
You’re full of it
Makes me queasy

So day in and day out
Burns out
It becomes a chore and my muscles become sore
Bored
Tired
Burned out
I’m inspired up to my neck
And I can’t breath anymore

Songs in my head…
Loud silence.
A vessel of violence
Touting peace.

Resuscitate my childhood…

I wait
Let my stomach empty
And detail come to me
My ears hear the brustles of the brush
The crunch of feet on the stones
I slow,
Indulge in self
Until the fray fades
Into nothing

And the tug of war’s ending
Flowing out like a sea
And a turtle carries me
Now life’s clear,
I just need to be

Laughing, Learning,
Riding the wind
Observing yearning,
No swallows,
A sentiments ending’s
Never hollow

Just following the beat
Of the feet of a heart
First
I had stop
For it to start

The Fray…

It nearly tore me apart.

 


-Ben

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Photograph by mali maeder