Cloaked like a silver cigarette
The rust put my embers out.
Rolling, drifting through the cobbles
Throwing myself out of windows on drive bys
I found the cracks
Saw the shadows on the walls of my new home
The creatures allured by a new dulling of the light
Sustenance, but this one burns
They found their way inside me
Laying their eggs, I squirmed
Closed up like a sour wound
Filled myself with pearls and shiny things,
Stole from the placid old man with horns across the street
And it was delicious
like a million heartbeats in a second
Then I open my heavy lids
And the aged dust puffed and fluttered in the rays of daylight against the wall
Winged songs of the smiling red eyed wilder-West
Here I am like a cigarette
Unfolding myself as the smoke rises
To see where the wind takes me
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The volcano opened into me
unexpectedly whipping out,
lashing me into feelings long dormant.
I provoked the eruption
Dancing around it’s openings,
Prancing the periphery,
Singing carelessly into the unknown
Of the caves of conscience
That I had long not entered
Until that day
The lashes tore the mask off my face,
Ripping me from comfort,
Peeling my clinging fingers from safety
The way to redemption became clear.
As the mist lifted,
That of the healing path opened itself to me…
The path through the caves.
I entered into the darkness.
Days turned to weeks turned to months.
I followed onward
Into the full wrath of the shadows,
Enduring the torment of lost knowledge
Until the shadows opened up the truth to me…
The truth was my death.
Yet in the moment of death
When my light flickered to an end,
The possibility of new beginnings arose at the deepest point,
The inevitable possibility as heirophany birthed itself
In the form of seeds of new light.
From a seed
A new self,
Born as the centre of a new light,
Then it was that I learned,
I was ready to grow.
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