Breath

“Breathe fair these breaths, for these are your last breaths of true life.

For you are of ripeness unknown to you young. Never again will air pass through your lungs so full, so bright.

And the cold stone and slap of feet. The breeze and the rumpus warmth carried on the song of the trees.

This is all so clear now. In time it shall fade, all shall fade. The the crisp rocks will blur. And the water will muffle, and the breath deep in your lungs will cease to be, becoming shallow and thin.

The youth, wasted on the young, who are scarce to look back and know of their riches.”

-Ben

Landmines

Nah no more selling myself for chocolate

for a sugar wrapped up

it boxes me into my own brain

a landmine of pleasure

it makes me tremor

(‘it’s plain that I think that I need it’?)

I used to measure my kale before it went in the steamer

all the cupboards were full of chicken and cottage cheese

my health was messy

I thought it couldn’t be cleaner

a counterculture to addiction

I created duality

More of me on a mission

it was creating my prison

the only answer to the energy I have to spend

was not to spend…

but my mind breaks into my problems

the ones it tries to mend

it rips them.

then i feel like a fool for not knowing,

but seeing is the only tool that I needed, no showing:

It performs itself in a moment of no judgement

Closed curtains open

No justification

The red is gone.

condemnation is a road to (‘a subtle’?) obliteration

I feel empty and heavy now that I ate the cake

a body shatters that I tried to make

my cloudy head chokes my sense

and all the steps I made.

I’m like the last runner tripping in the relay

Like a dog with a flat nose

I feel the pedigree of an addict-
going at it (‘biting back it’s’?)

Going rabbid in my thoughts..

fuck the feeling I want more-

-I always taught to listen to the feeling

cause the feeling has more meaning

than a thought could have

but now a thought has got me

by the throat

Needing a boat I rush down to the river

not for the water but the exercise…

I need to be thinner

Feeling like I’m pulled high and low at the same time

Fingers trembling

Hoping to find my feet in the future

So I can sink down from my dreams

To stop averting landmines of pleasure

Cause pleasure has no need to be pain

and I have no need to eat for leisure.

—————–

This is actually a first draft of a spoken word poetry piece that I have been working on a set for recently.

It felt appropriate to share it on this blog.

Stay strong. x

-Ben

When tired of Dancing…

It will always be this way,

This moment,

This happening now,

The moment in which you feel.

The choice is a dichotomy

To notice

Or not to notice.

If one notices

One see’s that feelings are neither

Good or Bad…

Feelings just are.

I promise

It will get better.

And then worst

And then better again.

That’s the game

The roller coaster

The dance.

I asked the other to dance with me,

Later I realised

That it was already dancing,

All of this time, dancing,

And I was a part of it.

One wonders whether life is about

Fighting or loving.

But they both live in one another.

Fighters love,

and lovers fight.

On the best of days it should never end,

On the worst of days it should end now,

The balance is always kept.

The thing

Is that no thing is alone.

Can we let our feelings be our teachers

And dance with them

Wherever they may be?

-Ben

‘The earth has music for those who listen’ – William Shakespeare