How to get out of a Rut!

We all want to be our best selves, we all want to live our best lives.

Yet so few of us actually do so! Bucket loads of potential is wasted every day by plethoras of people thinking about what could have been done, or why it cannot be done now; Most people do this. That is why most people are NOT their best selves.

I say this only as someone who has partaken in negative thinking incessantly for the vast majority of my life. SO much energy wasted on creating negative patterns of thinking which led to negative actions and behaviour, which led to me feeling… you guessed it, like a pile of s***.

I call this pattern a rut. You’ve heard the saying. ‘Being stuck in a rut‘. Never did I think about what this really means.

Litterally: A rut is a vehicle track created by repeating the same path over and over and over, so much so that it becomes the only easy path to it’s end once a vehicle is in it.

To get out of a rut, one has to get out of the vehicle that they are travelling in, take a good look around, decide he’s had enough, and climb the hell out of there. To get out of a rut, one needs to remove HIMSELF from the rut, and take a NEW path. This involves leaving the well trodden trail behind. This involves going your own way: putting YOUR purpose FIRST.

Be your own vehicle for change.

Now if you feel like you are stuck in a rut, which most of us are to some degree. Here is what I would offer you:


STOP what you are doing now. I want you to look at the thoughts that come up for yourself. Are they positive, are they negative? Are they conducive to LOVE and CREATION? and most importantly, DO THEY SUPPORT YOU?

If your thoughts are not supporting you, then I reccomend checking out


YOU first. If you want to grow, you must prioritise your purpose on this earth before all else. And once you begin to say yes to this, your purpose will come to you, oh yes it will, and you will float up the fruits of the tree of life and receive the blessings from your toil.

But this ain’t going to be easy, this is why anyone rarely does it. They stay in the rut, and moan about being in a rut to themselves. I’ve done it too. A lot.

To face your fears is to ‘kiss your shadows’ and become intimate with that which causes you pain. This is a part of life… and to live fully is oh so full of life.

For those of you in a rut. Who do you need to be in order to share your gift with the world? Who do you need to be in order to fulfil your true purpose in life? Only you can know. One can only ask for guidance in return for the expression of your gifts.

To finish, following my former post, another quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

‘To be great is to be misunderstood.’

Be great. Be true. Be you.

P.S. If you have any interesting resources that you’d like to share, send them over! I’m always looking for new insight and inspiration.

Your friend,

Ben


If you liked this post then here’s another post that you might enjoy. 

Photography by James Frid

How to Revitalise your Practice.

How should one practice?

It has always seemed like a mystery to me how some people seem to pick up an instrument and intuitively know how to methodically practice and progress themselves through levels of skill.

Maybe it’s my lack of formal education, but for me I have always just intuitively picked up things and played. That is to say, I progress on an improvisatory and creative level, but in regards to technique and formal repertoire, I have always largely lacked.

Discipline largely has a lot to do with success in the endeavour of learning any skill (or discipline). This begins before the practice session even begins: when am I going to practice, How long for, and what am I practicing? You need your game plan set in stone before you. You don’t necessarily have to follow it to a tee, but you need it there if you are going to progress skilfully.

Practice adds up, it really does. At times when I have sat down in a disciplined way to learn a skill, I have ALWAYS learned what I have practiced fully and with integrity.

However this discipline often teeters out within a couple of weeks of hard grind. It teeters out because it becomes largely a chore. The fire that got me started gets kindled out and I am left with the empty shell of my previous commitment. Just going through the motions leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Through some soul searching I thought I had found the key. It was that I was pushing too hard. So I did the intuitive thing and went in completely the other direction, becoming completely playful again. My lost love came flooding back. I began to ENJOY practicing again. Jesus had I missed THIS.

However… AGAIN there was a piece missing.

I was not making progress in the same way. My skills were becoming tighter within what I already knew, but I knew little. I was not GROWING and EXPANDING my boundaries. I felt like I was stuck in a rut, and I was. Stuck in a shell. A shell that needed to be broken out of in order to be born again.

SO.

I turned for help. I read and read and read and searched and asked. To no avail. People just intuitively knew, but nobody could explain where I was going wrong and HOW to rectify it.

UNTIL recently I came across a book that told me to follow my fire. To follow my fire was to aim for my deepest truth. I was set alight like a furnace. I had fire in my belly like never before, and I was ready to get out there and FIGHT for my convictions. Because I KNEW my deepest truth.

The reason that I was getting lost is that I had lost my VISION. My purpose, my reason for starting.

Suddenly, troubles with practice were a thing of the past. Tired grinds and constant pushing were mere memories, because now I had fire under my ass and it was alighting me to the moon.

It was clear that the problem was that I needed to direct this energy. Now I set a period of time every day to practice. I write a list using the method from THIS Youtube video.

And I get it done. In fact I estimate that I get around about 6-7x more done than I used to, and I’m barely having to push myself. I’m walking on air with the wind behind me.

Takeaway:

If you are having trouble practicing or finding motivation to do so:

FIND your fire. You cannot force it in any direction. You are either avoiding your inspiration or you are saying YES to it, in which case you know what to do. Any artist knows that you don’t chose what to be inspired about, inspiration choses YOU… you’ve just got to say yes to life. And to say yes to life is to say yes to fear and yes to the possibility of pain.

Let me leave you with this quote to ponder over, by the great man himself, Ralph Waldo Emerson:

‘Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.’

Step up. Feed your soul.

Yours,

Ben


If you liked this post then here’s another post that you might enjoy. 

Incantations have warped my understanding of reality.

Incantations are a bullsh*t I always thought… well not quite.

I had experimented with Incantations in the past, and not to much avail. There was always a moment of catharsis, and what I thought was false confidence, at the time. I did persist with them for a week or three, but I didn’t really believe in what I was doing and as such came to yield no fruits from my labours.

Above all, the trouble with Incantations is if you do not EMBODY them, then they are merely words. When they are merely words, they are merely affirmations. A squeally yoga mum telling herself that she is a strong indendent woman, but not necessarily actually EMBODYING this statement. This is largely where I went wrong. And this is most people go wrong. We all know that words can take on a different meaning hourly depending on our feelings that day. It is not the words, it is what the words are pointing to, and the experience that they are rooting to. I like a quote by the philosopher Alan Watts. ‘…Like the finger pointing to the moon, yet instead of seeing the moon, most people suck on the finger.’

Incantations are not just words. Incantations are the complete package. To yield results, one needs to anchor these words in experience.

While reading Elliot Hulse’s ‘Non Jobs Revolution’ (a fantastic read which I highly recommend), I came across his version of Incantations. For me, this is the most effective way to go about Incantations, and I can speak from experience when I say, it works!


Here’s how it works:

1.  Firstly going back in your mind to an experience that made you feel like you were walking on air, elated, powerful. Whatever is in line with the state that the Incantation is pointing towards. Now you play the video of the experience over in your head, being there, hearing the sounds, seeing the sights, tasting the air.

2.  Feelings are going to come up at this point. Feel them. You might smile or laugh, be there now. Don’t cling to them, but let them arise within you like a volcano. You’ve got FIRE in your belly baby…

3.  Now you must speak your affirmation with conviction. One Incantation that I have chosen, and that has made a MASSIVE psychological difference to me is ‘I am Limitless‘. Say it as if you flipping mean it… and do flipping MEAN IT.

4.  Now anchor these emotions into your body with a gesture. I like fist pump my arms in front of me as if I am about to get into a championship ring get it done.

Now you have affirmed yourself.

You can use multiple affirmations. Any time that you are feeling unsure of yourself. AFFIRM yourself. Stand firmly in your own ground and be the person that you want to become.

This technique is completely parallel with my own experience with an acting Method that i used to train in called ‘The Meisner Technique’. It is a method acting tool that allows you to get into the emotional state of the character that you are going to become for the performance. It worked brilliantly.

Life is a also performance… You can be the leading man/woman, or you can be the understudy.

Note:

Using affirmations is a practice. for real: bold, italic, AND underlined.

In order to yield results you must practice them consistently. It is going to feel strange at first and this is normal. One doesn’t build a beach body from a ‘dad bod’ (hate that term) over night, and you’re not going to become someone completely new overnight either.

Take this technique and any time that you catch yourself falling into a pattern of negative thinking, eg: “I don’t know” “I can’t do it” “I literally have no friends”, affirm yourself. Give your negative thinking a metaphorical kick in the ass, meet it with your chest up and head-butt it in the face by replacing it with thinking patterns that will support your growth, support your change into a new person, and support YOU.

Incantations are yielding results for me that I never thought possible. They have changed the way that I look at myself. I have come to realise through affirmations that I manifest my own reality. I create my thoughts, and my thoughts create me.

I hope this technique can help some of you on your own paths.

There is a great quote by the Taoist sage Lao Tzu:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words

Watch your words, they become actions

Watch your actions, they become habits

Watch your habits, they become character

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”


-Ben

P.S: If you’ve got any thoughts on this post, drop me a line! I’d love to hear from you.

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend you checking out this post also.

Anxiety

The rest is for the better
It’s said ‘sleep is for the weak’
Suppose that trying makes one tired
And makes one need his sleep
Suppose that giving in,
Letting go of ones control,
Could make one see the reason for it
And give him save from woe

Until ones tired of this way
Suffering one just gives in
And only then does it begin
Observation
For no win

I’d pay the extra currency just to access retrospect
To see it through, to separate, and know it in my bones
Except
The darkest moment seems so real
Tearing consciousness from me
Telling me of what I know
Disdaining the unknown
Till I was over thrown
Not shown
That impulse
Taken up in fear
Can be worse than a hundred tears

It made me lose my way
One may be right to say
That is ‘Maybe it’s just a different way’
But heartfelt degradation
Despite of hesitation
Made me know that I had torn myself
From realisation
For visualisation
When desire replaced
My destiny

So I watched and payed a price
A sum I won’t pay twice
Or maybe that I will
At least I know it comes of will,
The shining serpent of my mind
That convinces one to kill
Yet
No need that I have found
No sensation or thill
Has ever taught me love of life
To follow feeling
Not the bill.
For mistakes have taught me well
Virtue, Sin, and Self
Have now to access
Heaven and Hell
Just a shadow on a shining surface
Separate from self.

I try not to talk it knowingly
As if I knew a thing
For truth is that I don’t
And it’s not me that writes these things

 


-Ben

If you liked this post, then I’d recommend checking out this post also.

Photographer: Kat Jayne

When We’re Tired

When we’re tired we just keep writing

When we’re tired the words don’t spill anymore

I look into my head and find something resembling foggy nothings

I find empty corridors and full closets

Tiredness is a word for ‘I don’t know’

Or the decisions I’ve made in the past week

Or the things I wish I could have written

I feel weak

My hope is that one day I will be rid of tiredness

Put an end to the problem of energy

One day inspiration will knock me upward

And I will have the perfect routine

And my body won’t fail me

And I’ll be living the dream, one day

…Tonight I’m tired though.

Tonight is the night where I stay up late and watch youtube videos,

because it will make me feel better.

Tonight I will cook broccoli at 1 in the morning,

because I’m hungry and I can’t eat breakfast.

And then I’ll eat sugar treats

because they taste nice

and I’m living life

WHY THE HELL DID HE DO THIS

I woke up at 12.

But

Wait

What

No

Am I failing my body?

I won’t fail my body.

won’t fail my body.

One day I will conquer my problems

I will start on a new day.

When I get to bed on time,

and I’m in the coffee shop at 7.

Tiredness is a problem for the week.

Try again on a tomorrow okay?

Keep writing

Keep wr

Keep

Ke

K

-Ben

For those that are lost…

Write. Speak. Jump up and down.

It’s mad how long we can travel down the same path of fogginess. We are just floating through nowhere, from nowhere, and we goddamn hate it!

I challenge you to write. Just do it.

Writing changes everything. When you write it is as when you speak to others that you trust. You let go of the tensions that you are holding inside of yourself, you are letting it splurge out onto the paper. The act of letting yourself make the connection of your mind to the paper or the screen or whatever you use, it is going to shift your energy outside of yourself. If you successfully make this connection, this transition of energy, then this trapped energy will be unleashed onto the page, and you will find in your connection and your internal response to this energy the answers to your questions.

One must look at this energy, these words, with the advising eye of a best friend. Treat this energy truthfully, for it is you. Observe yourself! Watch your thoughts, your posture, your responses. First and foremost, feel your reaction to this watching. Do not let yourself be caught up in what one should or should not think, but allow yourself to see as if there were no right and wrong, only what is and is not. Let your response to this connection teach you of yourself. Let your response to your watching and listening teach you of your truth.

Now if you have not already found your way via these teachings, then seek inspiration. Seek those who inspire you, those who light a fire inside of you, who excite you! Those that you find yourself almost jumping out of your chair when spending time with. And again remember and understand through your responses, that the teachings that you will take from them is not what they tell you your internal response to their stance. Your patterns are your teachers.

The guidance that you receive from those that inspire you is the practice that you can practice in order to find your way.

Know this: that it is in the practice that you shall find your ground. Your internal response to the (consistent!) practice of this guidance will tell you what you need to know, and once you know that, you will be on your way.

 

‘The art is in the doing of it’ -Sandy Meisner

– Ben

Landmines

Nah no more selling myself for chocolate

for a sugar wrapped up

it boxes me into my own brain

a landmine of pleasure

it makes me tremor

(‘it’s plain that I think that I need it’?)

I used to measure my kale before it went in the steamer

all the cupboards were full of chicken and cottage cheese

my health was messy

I thought it couldn’t be cleaner

a counterculture to addiction

I created duality

More of me on a mission

it was creating my prison

the only answer to the energy I have to spend

was not to spend…

but my mind breaks into my problems

the ones it tries to mend

it rips them.

then i feel like a fool for not knowing,

but seeing is the only tool that I needed, no showing:

It performs itself in a moment of no judgement

Closed curtains open

No justification

The red is gone.

condemnation is a road to (‘a subtle’?) obliteration

I feel empty and heavy now that I ate the cake

a body shatters that I tried to make

my cloudy head chokes my sense

and all the steps I made.

I’m like the last runner tripping in the relay

Like a dog with a flat nose

I feel the pedigree of an addict-
going at it (‘biting back it’s’?)

Going rabbid in my thoughts..

fuck the feeling I want more-

-I always taught to listen to the feeling

cause the feeling has more meaning

than a thought could have

but now a thought has got me

by the throat

Needing a boat I rush down to the river

not for the water but the exercise…

I need to be thinner

Feeling like I’m pulled high and low at the same time

Fingers trembling

Hoping to find my feet in the future

So I can sink down from my dreams

To stop averting landmines of pleasure

Cause pleasure has no need to be pain

and I have no need to eat for leisure.

—————–

This is actually a first draft of a spoken word poetry piece that I have been working on a set for recently.

It felt appropriate to share it on this blog.

Stay strong. x

-Ben

The Truth

I wander streets in the night, I do. I practice kung fu under the street lights at the end of a dark road at quarter to 2.

Sometimes I thought I had it all figured out.

Swivelling between knowing and unknowing the point of the universe and all of its problems.

It’s a feeling and it comes up deep from my balls and my gut, and my head opens as if it was the same as everything else all along.

Talking about it sometimes, people think I’ve gone crazy. I feel it never occurred to them that I’ve seen something that possibly they haven’t.

It’s true that it’s selfish, but I struggle to see where else I can start other than from the self.

Or maybe the cork popped up in the old brain and I’m now a walking liability.

I don’t know.

I think about words sometimes. Trying to figure out why and where from. My need for insecurity rearing its little nose.

Liability: The ability to lie.

Sometimes I feel like I want to die. It sinks quickly from the high of fullness, down to the low of lost.

I miss the old days that never were, and I miss the opportunity for a life in a fantasy kingdom imagined by writers in a writing room.

I sometimes feel like a ripple a pond. Sometimes I feel like a grain of sand at the bottom of an ocean.

The way the world is looking scares me and I don’t know what to do about it… Is it the feeling or the world?

I love myself, and I hate myself too.

And I get confused about who ‘myself’ is every day.

My back aches from the weary neglect of hours at gyms in the night. And the sweat of anxiety linger as scars to today.i

It’s easy to forget that there is nothing to lose in telling the truth.

-Ben

A Call to Awareness.

People that bully are put into the category of bullies. Personally don’t feel that they are  just ‘bullies’. It’s easy to label… Much harder it is to listen between the lines.

‘Bullies’ are trouble people. They take it out on others, because they have felt that it is the best or only way to deal with this amount of suffering. They literally throw it off of themselves, and put it on other people. Or there are also those that follow because they are lost. They stand over others, because they don’t understand…

This is a psychological phenomenon. A product of discontentment in a society,  and a sign of social unrest, the best thing that we as a people can do is to feel it, talk about it, and try to understand it. All of us. We all learn through our awareness’ of our feeling’.

 

Categorising people is a great way of knowing what flavour they are, and whether you like the taste.

Keaton is a brave guy, and I have the utmost respect for his struggle, and his ability to talk about it. It takes character to stand up to what has gone socially unchallenged, however locally.
-Ben